Slayers Effect - Prologue
by Crowbar
Summary: Naga is, once again, on the search for her greatest rival, Lina Inverse. But some unexpected twists happen along the way...


Slayers Effect  
Prologue  
By John "Crowbar" Hurst  
MakoReno@aol.com  
  
* * *  


Water. Hydrogen oxide. H2O. The blue stuff. 

Whatever you want to call it, it's still the same thing. A bunch of elements combined with other compounds exactly the same, until the end result of a body of water. In this case, it would be a ocean. All it is just a seemingly endless stretch of atoms and molecules. But one does not think this way when looking at it. Instead, they look at the beauty of it. The calmness that seems not physically so can make relax in a single heartbeat. Even when a boat of some sort crosses from far off, it only seemingly adds more to the flavor of the scenery. Releasing you from everyday work, from stress, from... 

"Ohohohohohohoho!" 

... Okay, that last part *could* be wrong. The laugh, if you could call it that, echoed throughout this small portion of the ocean, bringing almost sudden chills to ears it reached, whatever species they may be. Nevertheless, it still had the same effect, no matter where it echoed (Which probably would have been a "What the hell?", should there be any fishermen in the area). But like everything, it had an origin, and an odd one, at that. A simple fishing boat in the middle of nowhere. An old fishing boar,to be exact. Chipped paint in many a places, rust gathering slowly... Essentially, the works. But that wasn't the odd part of this, oh no. It was one of the passengers on the Starboard side of it. 

Even from a far distance, one could tell she was extremely scantily clad. So that way, parents would probably attempt to cover children's eyes from her, like she was... Well, something that children shouldn't see. She probably was, though. Purple hair, a nice, dark blue cape, .. And her body? ... Let's just rip-off Monty Python and say she has "Huge tracts of land". Alongside that, she had a strange band on her leg, and (almost) standard boots. Among all that, she had a smirk on her face, like she was proud of that "echo" of hers. 

Okay, if you guessed who this is before the last paragraph started, go pat yourself on the back and grab a cookie. Don't worry, I'll wait. If not.. Well, you should. She is the sorceress known as "Naga The Serpent" to herself, but "Naga, The Goldfish's feces" to everyone else, a name she picked up because of following a certain... "rival", as she would call it. And despite her looks, she's not one to mess with, even if she looks rather unarmed. 

She called out her laugh once more, her "bitch laugh", into the ocean, listening for the echo to reach back to her ears. Sure, others around her cringed at it, even tried toget far away from her as possible, but it didn't matter. She enjoyed it. In fact, she was quite *proud* of it. To her, a bitch laugh wasn't just something you can do off the bat. It was something you had to perfect. It took her many days, nights, months, and even years to get it just right, and dammit, she was going to use it. Besides, it was nifty, and made a excellent audiocheck, should some person ever want to check the acoustics of a room. Hey, you can't just do sorcery all day. That would get pretty boring, even by Naga's standards. 

"Lady, please! Can't you knock that racket off? It's *kind of* hard to fish when the freakin' fish are being scared away!" was one of several cries of despair from the two members of the ship, both your average fishermen (Clothes and all). Usually, they would have welcomed someone to travel with them, but this... This was inexcusable. Her laughs caused nothing but trouble, her attitude was downright nasty, and both men were on the verge of saying "Screw it all, let's just get the hell out of here!". 

You know, some fishermen also called this an "omen". 

"Well, I appreciate your compliment, boys, but you should already know you can't order Great Naga around!" was her response. "And besides, those fish know better than to come around a boat that has moi aboard." 

Grumbling in defeat, the two fishermen *attempted* to go back to fishing... To only be reminded of her existence with another bitch laugh. Naturally, they were just enthralled with it. 

"Alright! That does it!" shouted one of the men, throwing his fishing rod over to the side and into the sea, much like a amateur golfer does during... Well, every game. "I tell ya, Fred, she's bad luck. We haven't got no fish yet, and I reckon we never will while she is on board" he said to the other man on the boat, in a pure, grade A, 100% redneck accent. 

"I reckon you be right, Leroy," replied "Fred", in about the same type of accent. "But how could we get 'er off the damn boat?" 

"I don't know." spoke Leroy, putting his hand to his chin. "She's really determined to find that Lina girl..." He then trailed off, as if realizing something. "Say, ya don't think this Lina is Lina Inverse, right?" 

"Lina who?" 

"Ya know, Lina Inverse. That robber or somethin' gal everyone has been talking about here these days." inquired Leroy. 

"Oh, her?" responded Fred. "Nah. Why would a purty gal like her go huntin' down a flat-chested robber like her? Unless..." 

"Hah! Just for your information, I am Lina's greatest and strongest rival." was Naga's reply to that, unfortunate for the other two. "And I'm only making this journey so I can prove just that, not what you may be thinking, you simple-minded fools." 

"Damn! She can hear us!" Leroy cursed to himself. 

"Well, it *is* a purty small boat, Leroy." 

"Ah, Shut up, Fred. What are we going to do with 'er?" stated Leroy, lowering his voice. 

"I don't reckon we can throw her off board or somethin', right?" questioned his good friend. 

"*Hell* no. She'd just swim back into the boat, madder than all hell. Well, we can always hope, I reckon." 

But Fred wasn't too sure. "I don't know. I've heard about these type of people. You try and do somethin' to 'em, and they go all psycho and stuff. It ain't pretty." 

"Ah, you worry too much. In any case, we hafta figure out what ta do with this wom--" 

But then fate decided to give the two another swift kick to the shins, as Naga headed around the corner, self-absorbed in herself as ever. 

"-an." finished off Leroy, and a much lower voice than earlier. 

For a few moments, nothing happened, the two fishermen pausing where they were, as if maybe she'd just ignore them and move on. But that wasn't a case. Naga simply stared back, as if waiting for the first move. 

Instead, she made it. "... Well?" she asked, impatiently. The fishermen duo just stared at each other, then back at her. 

"... Well what?" questioned the one known as Fred. Already, he was sweating. Maybe from the thoughts yelling "Psycho! Psycho! Psycho!" in this head, or maybe... From something else in view. To this day, noone knows, but they're pretty sure it was the latter. 

"Isn't this sorry excuse for a boat going to move faster?" Naga asked, even more impatient that last time. 

"Umm.. Why?" 

Naga sighed. "You poor boys don't catch on quickly, do you?" she questioned as she took a look at the completely blank faces of the two. "Obviously not. Listen, I'm in a hurry, if you do not know, to catch up with my rival. In fact, I'm in a damn big hurry. Now, either we get at least some movement from this boat, or--" 

"Well, if ya were in a hurry, miss, why did you board a fishin' boat?" Leroy interrupted, annoying Naga even further. Not the best thing to do in the world, I can assure you. 

"... Whatever. The point is, either the boat at least goes up from this snail-pace, or I'll make sure you do. Got it?" 

But Fred, being as stubborn as he was, weren't ready for such a chance. "Umm... Sorry, miss, but we don't take them bribes. I mean, you might have STDs or somethin'..." Fred stated, before getting a lovely punch to the face from his shipmate. 

"Eh, calm down, Fred. She didn't mean that *that*..." Leroy explained to him, before looking back to Naga. "Did ya?" Naga only gave out a deeper sigh. 

"Pathetic... Just get the boat moving, okay?" 

"Fine, fine, miss. Just let me get 'er running and--" started Leroy, before... 

"Now."interrupted the scantily-clad sorceress. "Because I'm sure you don't see what spells I can dispatch, right? Hmm?" 

And that was all the motivation they needed. Spells, for one, they could *maybe* handle. Most of everyone knew at least a spell or two. Hell, Fred even dabbled with it a couple of times of find ways to cook fish, before blowing up the cabin to the boat more than its fair share would like. Yeah, spells were one thing... But spells from eye-candy mages was another (Well, according to Fred, anyway). The two quickly made their way passed the sorceress, hooked up the sail, and even went as far as grabbing some oars and rowing, despite the need not to do so. All in one simple sprint. Either they were begging for their lives, or just wanted her off the boat as fast as possible. More likely the latter. 

"Much better." Naga said to herself, smirking at her small, but sweet victory against her latest challenge. 

* * *

Time passed. How long was anybody's guess, but by Fred and Leroy's standards, it was too long. The fish barely nibbled, the wind hardly picked up, and... *she* wouldn't shut up, no matter how far they went. Bitch laughs, orders, and all-around annoyance is not exactly the best thing to wake up, work, and sleep to. With each day passed, they grew more and more anxious to just throw her off the deck and leave her behind. Of course, if the wind didn't pick up, that would be a very, very bad idea to do... 

So they devised a plan. A sneaky plan. A plan two redneck idiots would only devise. But they did know enough that in most cases, their sorceress friend would just come right back, like a sheep to its master. Okay, it'd be more off a pissed off sheep, and that's lightly putting it. So, throughout the day, they continued to pass ideas to each other, but to no avail. Things just weren't going their way. In fact, each idea would just come back and kicked their ass. Eventually, they forced themselves to a last resort of there's, something that almost guarantees victory for them. Something that one of their kind can automatically resort to when nothing else works. 

Get the bitch piss-drunk. And that night, that's what they just did. 

"So, would ya like som' more, missy?" Fred cautiously asked her, holding up a bottle of what looked to be an imported drink from some far off land. They were originally going to try and make some money off the stuff, but more important things come first. 

"Eh, why not?" Naga half-heartidly swung her glass over to him, spilling a small portion of what remained in the glass, and onto the lighted cabin's floor. Hey, it was free, they were going nowhere, so why not? Fred obligated, much like a waiter, and poured the glass until it was nearly full. 

'Jeezus, gal.' Leroy thought to himself angrily. 'How long does it take to get you drunk?' To Leroy's knowledge, this was about the fifth one for her, and nada. 'Maybe she's resistant to the stuff or somethin'...' 

But as soon as he thought this, he could notice the redness in Naga's cheeks. 'Okay, maybe it's not *that* long' he thought, somewhat relieved. 

Meanwhile, Naga could only do two things at the moment: breathe and drink. Anything else wouldn't exactly be the best to do at that moment. She quickly poured the contents of the drink down her throat, making her liver scream with agony once more. Not satisfied, she held out her glass once more. 

"More, servant!" she shouted, laughing slightly. Fred and Leroy only nodded to each other. She was more than enough drunk. 

Leroy took the first action, holding up three fingers. 

"Alright, gal. How many of them finger's am I holdin' up?" he asked. 

Naga only squinted at the fingers, then looked away. "Eh, why bother?" she asked, not really to anyone in the room. 

"Yep. She's drunk enough, Leroy." Fred smirked. 

"Drunk? What are ya talking about?" Naga looked at him, finishing whatever was in her glass, perhaps nothing. "I'm just getting started!" 

"Right. Fred, get the legs. I'll take 'er by the shoulders." Leroy instructed him. He only nodded. 

"Hmm? Isn't that a little kinky?" Naga drunkenly replied. 

"Sorry, missy. This is for your own good." Fred said as he looked down at her, then at Leroy. He responded by picking her up, with Fred taking the bottom half. 

"Hey, hey now! What, no dinner?" she hellishly giggled, still hanging onto the glass as hard as possible. The two shipmates simply ignored her, and continued out the cabin. All the time, she laughed, slowly blacking out, until her she could only hear what was happening. 

"That there island still there?" one said, possible Leroy. 

"Ye-up. Want to drop her there?" said the other. 

"Yeppers. Do it, Fred." 

And then... She fell unconscious, the alcohol taking control of her, if only for now. 

* * *

And God only knows how much later... She awoke. With a almost crushing hangover. On an unknown island. 

But she didn't know all that at first. The only thing that she knew was this splitting headache from hell. For several minutes, Naga laid there, the only thing moving her arm, and that was just to hold her head. After several minutes, her mind was clear enough to sit up, and at least wonder what the hell happened. 

The first thing she noticed that there wasn't a glass in either hand, despite last night. The second thing was under her hand, the sand, and not the dusty floorboard of that pathetic excuse for a ship. The third thing was... Well, there wasn't a ship in site. She finally took a look at her surroundings, seeing an endless amount of trees behind her. In front of her, a sandy beach and the whole freaking ocean with it. 

This was not good. Not at all. 

"Well... Damn." she said, getting up from where she sat, taking a closer look around. Still, just the sandy beach, the forest, and a big ass ocean. Meanwhile, the sounds were nothing more than birds chirping and the waves from the sea. Pondering (As best as she could anyway, thanks to the hangover) the situation at hand. 

And then laughed that certain laugh of hers. It didn't help her headache one bit, but it sure made him feel better. 

"Ohohohoho! So, they think they can get rid of me *that* easily, hmm? Well, I just may have to give them a visit someday and repay them for their hospitality..." she shouted to mostly herself, but giving the birds closest to her a good scare. She then took a glance behind her,to the forest. "Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a look around this pitiful place first." 

And without thinking much further, she dusted off her cape and started walking slowly to the forest ahead of her. Sure, she could use a Raywing at anytime, but... Why? There wasn't land in sight, and she was sure it wouldn't last that long, even if she did try. The only direction was ahead. Besides, what else was there to do? So, she went on, into the forestand hope for civilization. You never know until you try. 

Ow. 

... But first, something to cure her damn headache would be in order. 

* * *

Comments? Criticism? Whatever else you want to give me? Send it to MakoReno@aol.com. 


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